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after having a rather small heart-to-heart talk with Jac on Monday, I realize half th things I told her weren't true. like how I didn't care about how we are right now. I still care, alot. but what can I do about it? I know we ain't possible anymore, so th best thing I can do is to keep our friendship going, which was what I did today. only to make you angry and probably annoyed with me.

I didn't tell her th truth because I don't want her to see th weak side of me. I didn't want to breakdown in front of her talking about us. Jac rly cares alot for me, despite me only knowing her during th second day of FOP'2011. I know that she knows I still care, I just didn't want to admit it in front of her. she didn't want to believe that we're not together anymore, she thought we were joking. that's how she is and that's something I love about her. always thinking simple in life, making her an easy target for pranks 24/7. nyehehe. back to th point, even though I don't see her everyday in school 'cos our timetable clashes, bumping into her makes me smile 'cos of her BIG hugs and I know she's always just a text away.

sidetracked too much... I tried to make things happen like you told me to. I texted you first instead of waiting for you to talk to me. even though half th texts were mean and it probably annoyed you/made you angry, I felt happy in such a long while. because I know you still care, that you just want me to change to who I am before when you first met me - happy, no negative thoughts, no sadness. I promise I'll try my best to be like before, 'cos I want to have my bestfriend back, doing usual bestfriends stuffs together again. I wish you know how hard I'm trying to keep our friendship in sight, to make sure it's always there. now I'm just looking forward to Fridays - 1) breakfast plans, 2) going to school together with you, 3) our classes are diagonally across each other and 4) impromptu dinner plans or going home together.

time to sleep now. 8am class tmr. goodnight, xx.