hi best friend, it's th 3rd of February today. remember everything that happened a year ago? bestfwens -> part-time boyfwen/girlfwen -> spending a lot of time together and apart -> getting together -> (to where we are now) hardly talking like we used to.
if we were still together, it'll be our 1st anniversary today. our first 1st anniversary for th both of us. but things didn't go our way to make that possible.
all your tweets seem to tell me that you've moved on, and I should too. each time I see your tweets about seeing your eye candy, and random pretty girls, I get sad knowing that you don't think of me like before.
I don't deny that I still miss us. not only us in a relationship but our friendship too. I miss having you as my best friend, knowing that someone's there for you no matter what is rly nice. you being my "Valentine" last year 'cos I didn't have one = library after school to supposedly study - being so close to one another for th first time - disturbing you about your crush. I miss how you'll always wait for me if I ask even if you had to rush off. all because you said, 'anything for you'. I miss being so important in your life. I miss sticking to you like glue. I miss your tight hugs, your piggyback rides, your forehead kisses. I miss how you'll always surprise me after seeing my Tumblr reblogs. I miss you calling me 'baby' and 'babu' and I miss calling you 'baby', 'babu' and 'racoon' 'cos of your Oakley tan-lines on your face. I miss your cutesy voice when you wanted me to stop being mad. I miss how much we missed each other when we weren't by each other's side. I miss seeing you for days straight. I miss how you'll either get food for me or ditch lunch with your classmates just to have lunch with me 'cos I haven't eaten. I miss how I'll always get to see you before I head home if you've something on after school. I miss waiting for you to end class or training just to spend time with each other or to have dinner together. I miss having something to look forward to after school because it meant plans with you.
I know it'll be awkward seeing you later. I just have to act like everything's okay. I have to try my best. I still keep our pictures (though there aren't alot), our letters to each other, your texts and notes. I still have your cool sunglasses (collecting dust on my shelf), th same OceanPack we have that you bought from Pattaya, th stuffs you bought from Hong Kong. I treasure these stuffs 'cos you're not a present-person.
I miss you, zf. but I know if I love you, I have to let you go, to let you move on without me still trying to cling on to any hope that doesn't exist. you're leaving for Taiwan soon for 3 months for your attachment. I hope we'll still be close after you come back. you rly mean a lot to me best friend. too much. too much till it still hurts thinking about you. you should know how much you still mean to me by th time I spent trying to get over you - 5 months and counting.
I'll never forget everything we had. memories I'll hold on to for life. I just wish you didn't distant yourself from me. just let me cry my heart out tonight.