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#MentionADateYouWillNeverForget is trending on Twitter.
030212. that's MY date i'll never wanna forget.

it's been almost a year since we broke up. i'm still stuck here, for god knows what reason. not knowing why i'm not moving on, why i'm still clinging on to nothing. since Jeff has been back from Aussie, you're bound to be inside one of th topics we talk about when we meet up with Val and Gordon. on Saturday, and today again. i act like as if it's nothing, like i didn't mind to hear your name again, like it's okay. but inside i still hurt. i wish it'll go away soon. i don't want to go through that feeling each time someone brings you up, whether it's accidental or on purpose. that kind of feeling sucks. it's like being in a maze, getting frustrated when you can't find the way out, when you're still stuck in the same spot despite trying your best to go away from that place.

i know you've moved on long ago. you've change, it's obvious that even they say so. you've become distant. someone who used to be so close and dear to my heart becoming a stranger. i've said that i didn't want us to not talk again but look what we are at now. i still care about you, i know you know that. you just choose to overlook it and not give a damn. despite knowing that, i still want to be there. i feel like a fool. staying in th same spot for th past year waiting for someone who won't come back to me anymore even as a friend.

you being you, th one person who used to know me better than myself should know that this is the first time i have waited for someone for so long. you were my bestfriend. i hope you'll be my bestfriend again. i can't live without you in my life. it's feels like there's a missing piece. how am i going to go through year 3 without you when you've been there for me since year 1. how am i going to face you in school with all th awkwardness. so many thoughts in my mind but i can't say them to anyone because i don't wanna be vulnerable and weak and cry.

i miss you zhenfeng.